Elmer McDuffy: Don’t Get on Facebook During Divorce

If you are going through a divorce, you have likely had many people advise you to be careful of what you post on social media, as it could come back to haunt you during the proceedings. But there are plenty of other reasons why you might want to avoid sites like Facebook during a divorce, beyond just the potential to damage your case.

The following are a few unexpected emotional reasons why removing yourself from the social media sphere could be wise during this difficult time:

It can be depressing. When you’re facing such big challenges, social media may only serve to emphasize just how bad you are feeling. People only really post the highlights of their life on Facebook, and seeing photo after photo of happy families spending time together could be tough to see. The reality is that nobody has a perfect life, but when you’re going through such a hard time, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing everyone’s life is better than yours.
It can exacerbate feelings of isolation. As you go through a divorce, you will start to lose touch with friends or family members who were connected to your spouse. If you are still friends with them on Facebook, you might see photos of a party or event to which you were not invited. This can be a difficult reminder of how your life has changed.
People can get rude or weird. You never quite know how other social media connections will interact with you as you go through your divorce. What are your former spouse’s friends going to say on your page? What about your technology-troubled aunt who doesn’t understand social media courtesy? You can avoid these awkward interactions by temporarily disabling your account.
You can damage yourself. Again, anything you post to the public may be used against you in court to show you exercise bad judgment or are otherwise unfit to have custody of your children. You could be completely responsible and social media savvy, but why take the chance?

Taking the High Road in Your Divorce

Going through a divorce is bound to elicit strong emotions — after all, you may be rehashing painful memories from your marriage and dealing with difficult issues such as child custody. It can be easy to let your spouse get the best of you emotionally, especially when he or she is acting in a spiteful, juvenile or contrary way. By keeping your own behavior in check, you can rise above the conflict and refuse to let it affect you. Remember the following tactics as you approach negotiations and other divorce proceedings:

Avoid bashing your spouse or venting about the details of your case on social media or in a public forum.
Remain honest with your attorney and with the court, and resist embellishing the facts in order to bolster your case, even if your spouse does it.
Never use your child as a tool to get what you want from your spouse — do not limit communication or visitation if he or she is being stubborn on a particular issue. If your spouse is withholding support payments, there are other legal tools you and your lawyer can use.
Focus on your parental duties as you look toward the future when it comes to interacting with your ex-spouse. While you may have no desire to ever speak with him or her again, it’s best for your kids to see you co-parenting in a healthy and productive way.

Free Consultation with Divorce Lawyer in Utah

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will fight for you.